Falling in the Hole

The truth is one of my biggest challenges in life is falling in the hole. The hole is just deep enough to cover my smile and heavy enough to prevent me from lifting out of it. Even Vegas has her hole, triggered by the thunderstorm. We all feel this way from time to time. Sadness sits on our shoulders weighing us down. We are sure we will get stuck in the hole for a day, a week, a month and the worst lie we tell ourselves is that no one else feels this way. No one else suffers from self doubt, no one else struggles with weight issues, life issues, romance issues, job issues, health issues. We cannot find a solution for the problem at hand and the sadness settles in like an all day rain.


I pretend that when I am sad, no one can tell. I pretend that it is my own little secret and the interior monologue of self loathing goes unheard by all. But I have come to realize that this is not the case. All who love me know when I’m in the hole. In part, being in a hole is in stark contrast to my Golden Retriever personality. I have learned that the fastest way out is to acknowledge it and take care of me with the most basic things: a bath, a nap, a good book, and a walk with the dogs.

The moment I focus on the dogs, I am reminded that life is full of joy in the very smallest moments. The jingle of leash brings a dance of delight. “A Walk!?! Seriously?!? That’s the best news EVER!!!”  The threat of throwing the squeaky tennis ball sends Vegas flying in anticipation.

What is most true: Squirrels and tennis balls and the dogs that chase them are the miracles of life.